Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
