what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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