Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
love makes seman taste better
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
