I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
