it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
