my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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