i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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