I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
