I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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