Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
