i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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