that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
