so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
