i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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