The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So vagazzling was a success
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
