Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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