i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
