the day after is always just damage control
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
