Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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