yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
