I hate all girls vehemently.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
