I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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