So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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