its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
