I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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