I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
