Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
