Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize