about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
