so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think i have herpe
just one?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
