i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
