It's Friday. Sex?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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