well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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