hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize