I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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