How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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