he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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