any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
