I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
