Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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