I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
