good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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