I wannas sexs uuuuu
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
