you mean i was at the winter classic?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
