I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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