Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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