My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
