The maid of honor just puked.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
