Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
  Replies (18) Good night (1053) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?

  (207): View more from Maine

  You need to stop watching Twilight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler? (207): You need to stop watching Twilight. http://tfl.nu/oudp
  Replies (48) Good night (1256) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband http://tfl.nu/lbgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5987) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (2706) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates. http://tfl.nu/cs1d
  Replies (24) Good night (1620) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/ux4f
  Replies (58) Good night (1532) Bad night (9681)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision. http://tfl.nu/xp34
  Replies (7) Good night (4128) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle. http://tfl.nu/b1qz
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (2316)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel. http://tfl.nu/6ex0
  Replies (8) Good night (915) Bad night (1911)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating http://tfl.nu/ijjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2434) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (3072) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one. http://tfl.nu/q8n4
  Replies (12) Good night (739) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about. http://tfl.nu/t5bz
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection. http://tfl.nu/r1o6
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (180)

Randomize