My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Small penises have feelings too.
we made out on top of his cat.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it