Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(305): View more from Florida

my head looks like a cockatoo

(1-305): View more from Florida

mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...

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(613): View more from Ontario

Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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(407): View more from Florida

I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.

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