were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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