Dude i fell asleep inside of her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma