I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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