420 ftw
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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