Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
