thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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