I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
