Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
