wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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