I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
