She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
