Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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