Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
