And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Randomize
