I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
